Friday January 11, 2019
Nels repaired the roof vent that was worn out and worked on the water system while I business-interneted. We drove out of town to an Indian restaurant, ate, and then unrelated to the food – determined that Nels needed some medical care. Five’ish hours later at the hospital we were discharged without any good answers but he seems to be on the mend. We drove south where I satiated a guilty pleasure (Chick-fil-a) and grocery shopped for some healthier eats. I bought a basil plant that we call Marvelous Mrs. Basil. We finished watching The Wiz and then winded down to the somewhat terrifying sounds of a car repossession followed later by car drifting and police intervention.
Saturday January 12, 2019
Happy that we survived the night in a parking lot, Nels and I drove to a nearby RV village where we were able to empty our gray and black water tanks for only $10. We also cleaned out our fresh water tanks and did dishes in house for the first time! An hour later we were San Francisco at Aunt Linda’s. She made us brunch and talked to us about sex and aging, hormones, incontinence, impotence, and dating. I’m excited to turn the conversation into an episode of Sexplanations.
Aunt Linda then drove us to our next engagement – recording videos and a podcast at Mr. S Leather with Amp from Watts the Safeword. Amp had reached out on Twitter and I was so relieved. I wanted to keep going with the Sexplanations podcast and recording video episodes while on tour but we haven’t had time to sort out equipment or set it up. Amp had a studio in San Francisco with lights and microphones and cameras. He invited me in, made me tea, gave me all the time I needed to switch gears in to pro-mode, and then recorded everything for me to share with you. We did a podcast on sexhacks, an episode of Watts the Safeword on sex education, and an episode of Sexplanations YouTube channel about daddies. We just put my memory cards in his gear and voila, production! It was such a huge moment of feeling wrapped up by a safe person and validated as a creator. Amp didn’t judge me for needing his help. He just loved on me and needed that.
While we were there I also got a thorough tour of Mr. S Leather. I’d been 12ish years ago when I was in San Francisco for my doctorate but a lot had changed. Amp walked us through the showroom – gear for every fetish and kink you can imagine. Then as a super treat he took us behind the scenes where most of their products were manufactured, right there in the building! We saw the old latex room with patterns for full suits, the remains of a really comprehensive dungeon, and the shipping warehouse. I was astounded by the passion everywhere. There was so much attention to detail and care for the products! The foot and half long dragon cock dildo was made by someone who wants that experience to be perfect.
I left feeling all warm and gooey. Nels left with ideas for rafting wetsuits and a new sex education. We wandered down the street to a coffee shop we learned about at PatreCon called Wicked Grounds. They had offered to host a event but I hadn’t been able to follow-though. So I asked a table of friendly faces if they had any sexuality questions for the sexologist on tour. “Nope.” One of them actually had their own sex education channel and was very situated in their knowledge of the subject.
I walked away from the cafe feeling very comfortable that we hadn’t planned more in California. Cali has so many sex ed resources. So does Oregon. These places aren’t my classroom per se, they are my launchpad. Between Nels’ friends in Oregon wrapping us up emotionally and Cali grounding me professionally – it was like we were being nurtured for the experiences to come.
Nels gave me a burrito that he’d gotten for me while I was shooting with Amp and we walked to The Chapel twenty or so minutes away for a show. He treated us to the Red Room Orchestra performing the Big Lebowski. Margaret Cho was Walter, Kevin McDonald was the Dude, and James Adomian played the stranger. It was outstanding! Just incredible!
After the show we found late night Indian then took a Lyft back to the RV. The fridge wasn’t working because things weren’t so level on the San Francisco hills so Nels and I capped off the night stacking these really nice blocks someone got us on our Amazon Wishlist.
Sunday January 13, 2019
We went back to Aunt Linda’s, this time for showers. Then she took us out for lunch at a super cool restaurant called the Pork Store. After food we rushed back to the RV to get across town to a landscaping center to meet Dixie de la Tour for a podcast recording in. the. RV! Dixie showed up with her St. Bernard and we all climbed aboard to talk about her work running and mothering Bawdy Storytelling. She also has a podcast. 10/10 would recommend! We wrapped up our conversation 10 minutes before the landscaping center closed so I ran in with Marvelous Mrs. Basil in her inadequate two inch pot and paid a $2.00 re-potting fee to get her a new container and more soil.
It was a rush-rush day. Next on the list was dinner with three of my classmates from the institute where I did my doctorate. Jack drove an hour and half south, Danielle drove an hour north, and Nels and I drove the RV to pick up Ivy for us all to meet at Basil Canteen for Thai. The whole meal was perfect. I hadn’t seen these friends in more than a decade but there we were deep in conversation about sex of course, and buying a school to teach sexology! I think everyone left having to wake up in a few hours for work but grateful for the night.
Jack drove Ivy home (which I hoped would reignite a romance) and Danielle invited us to stop at her place the following day. We all said good-bye and then Nels and I strolled home happy. On our way around the block –because the RV was parked just down the street–we said hello to some gorgeous queens from the Imperial Sovereign Court and stopped at a gaming cafe for virtual reality. I love it. Nels was indifferent. And then he was awesome at it and we hung out for an hour getting some physical activity in by thrashing our arms around.
To conclude the day, we drove all the way the beach so we could listen to the waves from bed. It’s still really hard to push myself with work and travel but gifts like that are a reminder that were are right where we need to be and doing the best we can.
Monday January 14, 2019
I woke up wanting nothing more than WiFi so we set up our laptops in a cafe on the oceans and worked for hours. I was actually still on the phone planning stops when Nels courted me out to get to Sunnyvale by 3:00 to meet Danielle, my classmate from the night before. I kept working in the RV while he drove and we got there right on time.
Danielle situated us with rain showers, chicken soup, and tourist suggestions for the rest of our California route. That is until we learned that the coastal highway would be shut down for the week due to landslides. I was disappointed but only mildly. Being in Danielle’s care was delightful. She kept it simple and cozy, no pressure, no hassle. We got to explore her Somatica space – a revolutionary way to improve relationships and sexuality and Danielle gave us two of her books! And a bag of oranges from her yard!
To finish the day Nels and I drove past the Apple complex, which is enormous, and we dined all fancy-like at Oren’s Hummus.
Tuesday January 15, 2019
Sadists are people who experience pleasure from inflicting pain. Nels is not this. I think he experiences pleasure from pleasing others. While I slept he drove us to Lover’s point so the RV windows would be looking out over a quintessential ocean view. Then he proceeded to cook onions, kale, broccoli, rainbow carrots, sausage, garlic, and eggs in a cast-iron pan for breakfast on the coast. Who is this person!?!?!
Before getting back on the road we climbed along the rocks watching the cormorants dive. I tried to swim but the tide came too quickly for it to be safe. We returned to the RV to acquire more miles. I responded to over 100 emails then requested we take a break from the washing machine existence of riding in an RV and nap. Post nap, Nels was at it again making colorful amazing food. He set up Moon –the 2009 film– and we had our version of a drive-in dine-in movie.
This is in San Luis Obisbo. Now we’ve driven longer past huge agriculture land to Solvang and it is time again for cuddles and bed.